12) Thai Bar Girls are submissive.
A definite "No". In fact, most bar girls, just as any other Thai women, are actually very dominant and bossy, extremely jealous, often tetchy, and quickly resort to violent behaviour - e.g. throwing bottles or glasses, when verbal confrontations get out of hand. You can be sure that when having a love affair with a typical Thai bar girl, she's not from the petting zoo but rather from the monkey house so-to-say. Especially if you give your bar girl(friend) reason to be jealous, you'll quickly find out how aggressive and often irrational these petite little creatures can be ...
Of course, during your holidays you might get a totally different impression and, because you are a paying client and get "first class" treatment for your money, feel like the king himself. In reality, this "light" version is rather trappy as it only reflects the commercial side of Farang-Thai bar girls relationships. Things do change abruptly, however, when "holiday love affairs" become more serious and go beyond the scope of a clear-cut sex worker/sex client relationship.
13) Pattaya Bar Girls are jealous.
A definite YES here. As 99% of all Thai women, Pattaya bar girls, including ex-bar girls, can be extremely jealous. Don't think just because they are, or have worked as, prostitutes who wouldn't mind going to bed with a married man, or a tourist who already has a girl from another bar as "girlfriend", they would let you get away with it if you did the same, with another girl in another bar. If you're a "butterfly man" who enjoys "fucking around" regularly, you might be facing serious problems with "your girl" - even if you have stayed with (bar-fined) her for only a couple of days and you're not in a proper relationship. If you're in Pattaya only as a tourist, however, and the girl hasn't developed a more profound (financial) interest in you already, problems shouldn't be too serious. Just split up with her, stay on your own for a while, or look for a new lady with a more relaxed attitude (allegedly there are a few exceptions.)
What is funny in a way: If you take a certain girl from a certain bar - and on the next day want to take another girl from the same bar (they're just prostitutes, you may think, so why should they care?!) Girl no.1 would most likely be jealous and resent both you and her rival - possibly to the extent that Girl No.2 might reject your offer or, in the worst-case scenario, both girls engage in a cat fight. So if you want to change your girl occasionally, you better change the bar as well.
If you have entered a more serious relationship with a (former) bar girl, she'll basically expect the same loyalty of you as if you were her husband. If you still want to enjoy "extramarital activities" occasionally, you better be careful, i.e. stick to short-time bars in distant areas, don't let yourself get "caught in the act", don't give your phone number to other girls etc. as otherwise your "Thai wife number one" might have a serious problem with you and develop symptoms similar to those of rabies. As stated above, Thai bar girls can be quite irrational and aggressive sometimes, and and quickly resort to violent behaviour
Arguments may start mildly, with your lady crying and whining (you not love me!) and gradually get nastier: via irrational shouting and screaming (you bullshit me) to throwing objects (fuck you!) and finally attacking you, in the best case only with her tiny fists ...
To cut a long story short: If you're in Pattaya for a holiday only, especially as a first-time visitor, and don't really need round-the clock escort service (i.e. a "holiday girlfriend" bar-fined in a bar on a daily basis) you are probably better off with staying on your own and not sticking to the same lady for a week or so. Instead, go bar-hopping and "sample a little of everything."
14) Pattaya Bar Girls eat all the time.
Quite true: Thai bar girls seem to be eating all the time, i.e. unless they sleep or watch telly. And indeed, this is not an illusion, but bar girls, same as every other Thai, can eat for perhaps up to ten times a day, though usually just small portions of their beloved Isaan dishes. In fact, for Thai people food is an essential part of their culture, and eating, especially in the company of friends and co-workers, with as many plates and different dishes as possible on the table, is virtually a ceremony or a social event, just like going to the temple and giving alms to monks. While you're always welcome to join them and grab some delicacies from their plates (Thais actually like to share their food with others and do not enjoy eating on their own) please do not disrupt them!! In the best case, they would simply ignore you anyway ...
15) Bar Girls are lazy.
Let's face it: many bar girls are a bit lazy and just live day to day. If they should not be at work, many will just be vegetating in front of the TV, watching some silly soap operas, or reading equally silly cartoon books. Or they'll be hanging around with friends, drinking, playing cards and gambling in their rooms. Even at work, many bar girls seem to be just hanging around with their co-workers, chatting with each other, eating their favourite Lao dishes, watching soap operas on TV or manicuring their fingernails. And the occasional chat with a customer, going to the fridge to serve him a beer, empty the ash-tray occasionally, do the dishes and a bit of cleaning etc. is not really challenging and physically hard work, is it? But while there's really not much more to working in a bar, the truth is that many bar girls are really too lazy to do anything more than that (i.e. except for "making money on their backs") and wouldn't even work in a factory if that paid 50,000 Baht a month. Now that's one side of the coin, and girls who fall in this category do naturally not suit as long-term "girlfriends" either.
On the other hand, bar girls (not GoGo dancers usually) have long working days of sometimes 12 hours or more a day, with usually not more than a day off per month. And would you really call an usher or doorman lazy just because he's physically not very active while working? Another part of the truth is that there are many brilliant working girls in Pattaya who are anything but lazy. These are those who voluntarily do your laundry on the morning after your very first night with them, clean your room, prepare your food etc. They will drive you around their motorbikes all day, show you all the great places to visit, go jogging with you, swimming ... some are real bundles of energy! When you're in their bars with them, they won't only sit with you drinking beer and lady drinks but will empty the ash-tray every ten minutes, give you a back massage, clean the table, cook some food (if the bar has a kitchen) or even climb a ladder to clean the ceiling fans or change a broken bulb. In fact, Thai women in general often do jobs Western women would be reluctant to do, e.g. work on construction sites. This hands-on mentality also applies to many bar girls who mostly have rice-farming backgrounds in rural areas, and are therefore often used to physically hard work. Often these girls might not even drink alcohol, enjoy gambling or going out to discos, but are more concerned about their families, their individual future and an alternative "career" other than in the sex trade. Naturally these girls don't really want to work in a bar for too long but just do it to make enough money to support their family in the village and really prefer a quiet "good" life with a "good" husband either upcountry or in his home country. It should be needless to add that such rare jewels among bar girls are usually also more reliable, especially when it comes to money. Now obviously, and unless you're just into quick sex and prefer to change your girls regularly, these are the girls you should be looking for; especially if you want to take your girl back to your country or plan to start a business with her in Thailand.
In other words: The prejudice that bar girls are lazy is not really a misconception but simply doesn't apply to all. While there are extremes at both sides at the spectrum (admittedly, mostly at the "lazy end") the majority of bar girls is probably somewhere in between: not necessarily lazy but with a healthy taste for an easy and relaxed lifestyle.
16) Thai Bar Girls are all slim and petite.
Well. In comparison with your average Western madame, most Thai girls seem to be supersexy, slim and have a wasp waist, right? And as far as the younger GoGo girls are concerned, this first impression may be 100% correct. (By the way, GoGo bars have the "natural advantage" anyway that you can actually inspect the girl's body in its natural dress before paying her bar fine and taking her back to your room.) Talking about "average" bar girls in regular beer bars, however, the situation is slightly different as you virtually "buy a pig in a poke".
In fact, from a closer point of view, i.e. after you've taken her back to your room and she's finally stripped off her clothes (provided she's left the lights on in this critical moment?) many ladies actually appear to be less petite than in their fancy bar dress; instead, they may often display a little "tummy" and seem a bit chubby or pompui nit noi (to say it in Thai).
Fact is that, according to figures released by Thailand's Public Health Ministry, in 2008, 60% of Thai women were overweight. (According to a survey in 2010, where only 40% of Thai women had a "waistline measuring more than 32 inches, which is the standard," the situation seems to have slightly improved recently.)
Why? Talking about the typical Thai bar girl, and given the fact that 95% or so of them have given birth to at least one child - some even two or three, and often at a relatively tender age - the most obvious reason seems to be their pregnancies. The second reason, of course, are their unhealthy "hobbies": sleep (as long as possible), eat (as often as they can) and drink (whatever, as long as you pay). Little exercise, of course, doesn't help keep the waistline slim either. As a rough rule of thumb one can say: the older a bar girl is, the more children she has had and the unhealthier her lifestyle, the "bigger".
No reason to panic or cancel your holidays though! There are still enough sexy slim Thai girls in Pattaya, who come up to your expectations of petite Thai women, if that's what you like? They're still in the majority, you may just have to search a bit longer than 20 or 30 years ago to find "that perfect body." Then again, what reflection do most of us see in their mirror? "Sexy men"? Fool if you believe the lips of a bar girl!
17) Thai Bar Girls can seriously fall in love with Farangs.
Well, how many prostitutes do actually fall in love with their clients? Not too many, correct? Then again, as every woman, Thai bar girls have a heart too, which they're capable of giving away. However, their choice for a long-term boyfriend or potential future husband generally depends on the chosen one's financial background and his readiness to "take care" for her and her family (e.g. build a house in the village, support her parents, kids etc. financially.) In other words, the financial aspect usually plays a decisive role in determining whether a bar girl will enter a more serious relation with a Farang.
So, no matter how young, good-looking and sexually potent you may be or think you are, do never forget the basic rule: "Money Number One", especially when seeking a long-term partner or future wife. Then again (as stated above) money alone may not be enough to win the heart of a Thai bar girl. When it comes to choosing a boyfriend or potential future husband, for whom they would readily give up their bar jobs, not only money is a decisive factor, but also whether the chosen one is a "good man" with a "good heart" who can credibly promise her a better future and make a loving husband and father for her kids.
18) Bar Girls dream of getting married with Farangs and going abroad.
Not really. Although most Pattaya bar ladies are in search of a foreign boyfriend or husband, who can provide regular financial support to them and their families, not so many bar girls are actually keen on going abroad to their boyfriend's home countries - or staying there permanently. A short visit for a maximum of three months or so may be okay for the more "adventurous" and open- minded girls, on the long run, however, most Thai women prefer to stay in their home country. In other words: Even if you're married your wife will most likely prefer to continue living in Thailand to moving to your own country permanently. (If she has kids, it could be helpful of course if you offer her to take the children to live with you too.)
Why? Strongly attached to their family and children and Thai "culture" in general (for most girls "culture" basically refers to their loved Thai/Lao food, access to Thai TV, hanging out with their friends etc.) most Thai women simply find it hard to get used to living in a Western country and adjust to a different culture. In addition, many bar girls with Farang boyfriends who don't stay in Thailand permanently - and are more vulnerable to their girlfriends' sweet lies - secretly keep on working in the sex trade, although their generous Farang darlings have been promised they were staying in the village with their families and kids. Some Pattaya bar girls even have numerous "boyfriends" who all support them financially, while each of them may be equally convinced they were the "one and only". Last but not least, others may secretly even still have Thai boyfriends or husbands, often disguised as "brothers" ...
One of the most persistent and controversial misconceptions about Thai bar girls is the next one.
19) Thai Bar Girls are no prostitutes.
Wrong. By definition, every woman who sells her body, sexual services or - let's rather say - her companionship for money, is a prostitute or an escort girl, correct? And the only reason why bar girls do the bar job is financial in the first place. Let's face it: It's the prospect of making money they've come to Pattaya for, not the beaches, golf courses, or the prospect of meeting you!
Every Thai girl would naturally, instead of starting a "career" as bar girl and dating foreign men who can't even speak her native language, understand her culture or mentality, much rather stay with a Thai man somewhere up in the village. It's simply the prospect of making "easy" money, which drives an Isaan rice farmer's daughter to Pattaya or Bangkok. If there, by accidence, she should come across a possible future husband from a Western "land of milk and honey" (in the opinion of an ordinarily naive bar girl, most Farangs are some kind of quasi-millionaires) well, then that's a welcome side-effect. From this point of view, bar girls are prostitutes - including your super-dooper "girlfriend" of two or three weeks who jobbed only as "waitress" in her bar and is so extraordinarily special and "totally different" from the "other hookers".
Surprisingly, however, hardly any Pattaya bar girl considers herself a prostitute (i.e. with all the negative connotations the word has) but rather as a general "service provider." And, in fact, the entertaining service bar girls in Pattaya provide rather resembles that of a round-the-clock escort service than prostitution as you may know it from Western countries. That's the famous "girlfriend experience" bar girls provide paying customers with.
A night out in a Pattaya beer bar, in search of a lady for the night, just isn't like going to a brothel for an anonymous quickie of 30 minutes (after which you'll be pushed out the door to make place for the next guy.) Pattaya's bars are more like regular pubs back home - just with an abundance of attractive and entertaining hostesses who, in exchange for a fee, are ready to accompany you back to your room, cater for your sexual needs if required, act as a virtual tourist guide for you, and possibly stay with you for as long as your holiday lasts.
Indeed, the easy-going, friendly, and usually hassle-free atmosphere in Pattaya's bar scene and the "take care" attitude of most girls, might easily give you the false impression you were staying with a regular girlfriend rather than with a prostitute who's getting paid for spending her time with a "sexy man" like you. As matter of fact, though, she is getting paid, one way or the other, and now don't you say "I'm not paying her every day" or "My lady never asks me for money", but then buy her a thick gold necklace after two weeks of "cheap" company!
20) Farang - Thai Bar Girl Relationships are doomed to fail.
To be fair, relationships between Pattaya bar girls and foreigners may sometimes go beyond the scope of prostitution, develop into true friendships and even "love affairs", based rather on mutual affection than money ("rather" as you will still be expected to support your girl's family financially if you want her to "retire" from the sex trade permanently.)
Many Western men are happily married to ex-Pattaya bar girls, who eventually turned into caring partners, housewives or mothers. True love, however, is hard to find. As a famous saying alleges: "It's easy to get a girl out of a bar but impossible to get the bar out of the girl." This basically means that many ex-bar girls have adapted too much of the typical "bar girl mentality" and seen too much of the naughty sides of life. They may have enjoyed the job (drinking, dancing, hanging about with friends etc.), the financial rewards for boom boom - and possibly boom boom itself - too much, and for over a too long period of time, to suddenly reverse to a "normal" lifestyle and make good housewiwes and loyal partners anymore. True in many cases, so think about it well.
No doubt, even relationships between Pattaya bar girls and Western visitors may go beyond the scope of the typical "sex for money" or "holiday girlfriend" scheme (a lot might might depend on your own attitude and ambitions!) and, of course, there are many serious ladies out there looking for genuine relationships and possibly marriage. Thai Dating
Most bar girls' expectations of a long-term romance, however, are restricted to the prospect of a steady income from a foreign "sponsor" who provides monthly financial support from his faraway home country. So if you really can't help falling in love - do not fall in love too quickly. Take your time, look around; there are thousands of available girls in Pattaya who are all willing to become your special friend of the night and, if you're lucky and serious enough yourself, even more? All the best, guys!
Last but not least: Do not fall for made-up stories of chronically sick papa-mama's and deceased or ill water buffaloes! Be generous if you're happy with "your" lady and her services, but do not let her make a love-fool or a walking ATM of you! A payment of, say, a thousand dollars can easily cure a sick water buffalo for a while; sure enough, however, it would immediately make his fellow buffaloes seriously sick ... So use your common sense and don't leave your brain at the airport customs!
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Bar Girls Explained: The Truth About Pattaya Bar Girls (Part 1)
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Bar Girls Explained: The Truth About Pattaya Bar Girls (Part 2) - Part 1
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Bar Girls Explained: The Truth About Pattaya Bar Girls (Part 1)
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